Our Creator and creation is awesome. Watch in awe:

Many years ago, I was introduced to the concept of the “Abuse” or “Co-dependency” Triangle. I have come to think of it as a visual description of sin. Imagine a triangle. At the top of the triangle put the word “Oppressor.” At the left corner put the word “Victim.” At the right corner, put the word “Savior.” Keep that in mind for a few moments. Then think of a troubled relationship in your life. Which of those roles do you play? This can be a personal relationship, a relationship with your job or your church and then finally your relationship with God. Take a few moments to process this thought before you read on.

I believe this concept of God as Savior within the context of this abuse triangle has perpetuated a great mis-understanding of the purpose of life and the purpose of salvation. We miss the gospel itself when stuck in this way of seeing life. We even conceive our country in this way, either as looking to government to save us or to see our country as the world savior. This is so ingrained in our world view that it is hard to think of life any other way. According to the theory, the only way out of this disastorous way of living, is to embrace this paradox: Take total responsibility for your life AND know that you are only a small part of a much bigger picture. I believe that is the salvation of Jesus the Christ: not a rescue from external oppressors, not permission to oppress anyone who doesn’t see life as we do, not a requirement to rescue everyone in our path.
I know I’m getting a little abstract here but bear with me. The concept of the Mystery of the Trinity is basic to orthodox and historical Christianity. It seems most churches and pastors have a great deal of trouble even acknowledging this mystery. In my church, we sing the Gloria Patri and the Doxology for which I am thankful but any sermons I’ve heard on the Trinity have to do with identifying with one of the Three Persons or comparing the Trinity to 3-in1 oil or an egg. I think we’re better off just singing our praises to this which we do not understand.
For me, it has been embracing the Trinity in all It’s mystery that has countered my own sin-triangle with a holy cleansing. Living life in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit…..meditating in the knowledge that I am one with the Creator, the Redeemer and the Sanctifier…..even more ancient is the Sanskrit understanding of God as Tat, Sat and Om. I begin my mediation time with a ritual of remembrance as I stand before three candles, I cross myself in the eastern tradition and know I am in the presence of that which creates all, that which was incarnated in a woman’s womb, that which binds me to eternal life – I let this mystery that is greater than my sin embrace me and fill me and breathe through me. One resource in particular has been very helpful in this regard: Richard Rohr’s The Divine Dance . This is a set of four CD’s. Do not listen to this while you are driving! The depth of mystery to be experienced and holy presence is not compatable with driving. I went five exits past my destination the first time I listened. l close with this: This is the prayer by Richard Rohr that comes with the CD:

- Meister Eckhart

Good to know in these days when all of creation seems to be at the very least confused. I am reminded of these words of the Apostle Paul :

The created world was bound to fail. But that was not the result of its own choice. It was planned that way by the One who made it. God planned to set the created world free. He didn’t want it to rot away completely. Instead, he wanted it to have the same glorious freedom that his children have.
We know that all that God created has been groaning. It is in pain as if it were giving birth to a child. The created world continues to groan even now. (Romans 8:20-22 NIRV)

And so do we. Groan, and worry and wonder. But even we are groaning with creation towards our loving creator who planted within us all this glorious freedom to be what we were created to be.

Right now it seems that aging is a part of that created purpose. I’m not liking this. However, this human body must have been created with humor in mind. Yearning for the glorious freedom of life in a ressurected body, count me part of that groaning creation!

So I hereby proclaim that it is not Christ-like to enjoy suffering! Or even to just shut up about it. Especially in prayer. Or in church. I’m thinking it’s okay to howl at the moon or the sun at the break of day when the need arises. And that God howls right along beside us.

Of course, for practical reasons, it is not helpful to complain all the time or to look for things to be wrong so we can complain, or howl. In fact, laughter is much more useful than screams. And bitterness has no use at all even when thoroughly deserved.

This is what I have found to be helpful when true suffering has come my way. First, to be honest about what is going on (for me this only comes after a lovely blanket of denial turns out to be a delusion). Then to just be with God in it whether that involves the prayer of talking out loud to The Divine (preferably when no one else is around lest more suffering come your way) or putting on soothing music (I like Daniel Kobiaka’s Timeless Motiion) or going for a walk with loud, complaining music singing in my ears through the iPod. And then to truly, truly remember that there is nothing that happens to us that isn’t designed to bring us closer to God-wakefulness. This has taken me decades to understand but oh the sweet release when I know this in my bones. Everything is designed to birth the Divine, or perhaps merely to resurrect what is already there.

Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an
indomitable will.

Ghandi

All has been well and our house is rodent free. This is good because as I meditate, I experience a blessed sense of oneness with all of creation. I do not want this bliss to be disturbed by either a pellet gun or the scratching sound of rodents in the wall. But tonight, there it was again. I think the flying squirrels may be back. I’m wondering if there is a way to limit this whole oneness thing. I mean can’t they be one with me outside??? Or maybe they like the meditation music I play. Or maybe Oneness wants me to get over myself.

The grinding wheel of Time doth mar
  Full many a life of moon and star
  And many a brightly smiling morn—
  But still my soul is marching on!
  Darkness, death, and failures vied;
  To block my path they fiercely tried;
  My fight with jealous Nature’s strong—
  But still my soul is marching on!

Paramahansa Yogananda

After dinner while we all cleaned up, Dad would retreat to his olive green lazy boy and cogitate some more. His work was his pride if not always his joy. He raised us all, children and grandchildren alike, to be hard workers, honest and proud of whatever work we did. One of the many things that bugged him in life were people who did not understand that their work was a reflection of their faith. Until the day he died, Dad’s work was the same for him as worship. What a great way to live!

“Do not do what you want, and then you may do what you like”

Sadasiva

You can control a mad elephant;
  You can shut the mouth of the bear and the tiger;
  You can ride a lion;
  You can play with the cobra;
  By alchemy you can eke out your livelihood;
  You can wander through the universe incognito;
  You can make vassals of the gods;
  You can be ever youthful;
  You can walk on water and live in fire;
  But control of the mind is better and more difficult.
~Thayumanavar

As quoted in AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A YOGI by Paramahansa Yogananda

One day, my father and my husband were working on installing a light near our spiral staircase. Chris was in the tiny knee-wall attic amidst the rafters and insulation, crawling on his knees, flashlight in hand, looking for the wires Dad was feeding through the wall. All of a sudden Dad stopped and the Gayatri started playing. (He had accidentally pushed the button on the nearby CD player). “What happened?” Chris shouted from within the attic. Dad said, “I don’t know but suddenly I feel very peaceful!”

Eventually the light fixture was installed but every night when we turn it on, we smile with the memory of Dad’s sudden peacefulness.

The following Christmas, the one thing Dad wanted was a CD of the Gayatri which I was pleased to give him along with a translation of the word’s meaning. Though the language was foreign and the source of the prayer more ancient than Judaism or Christianity, he recognized the oneness of truth that transcends our paltry attempts to know Divinity.

It is a fine line to walk: discerning what is true and what is human misunderstanding. As our world grows smaller through information overload, and we learn from the variety of experiences of holiness in this vast earthly population, I find that the test of what is true becomes clear to me when the peace of Christ shines brightly within my heart. And that comes with the daily practice of sitting quietly in God’s presence, and through the reading and memorizing scripture. May you know that peace today.

“Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Keep on doing the things that you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you.”

- Philippians 4:4-9

On this Ash Wednesday, may the thoughts that steer us away from the peace of Christ that passes all understanding be turned to ashes and the thoughts that center us in Our birthright of peace as sons and daughters of God flourish

He uses the term peace in a way that I would use the term Christ or the Holy Spirit but the meaning is the same. Here is a quote to illustrate:

I’ve learned that living in peace is the most practical and most natural and most generous thing we can do for ourselves and for everybody around us,” he said. “I’m convinced that some day everybody will come to understand and practice this simple truth”

The book is a very practical guide to practicing the awareness that all of life is lived within God’s presence. I have experienced this in my life as I continue to learn to live with chronic pain. When I am able to remember, or rather to access the peace that I easily access in meditation, the pain becomes less personal. I even have a sense of somehow bearing this pain as a spiritual practice that somehow is useful to life beyond me.

I’m not sure if I am able to express this very clearly. It isn’t like being a martyr. It is an awareness that whatever the particular pain is, it isn’t about me. It’s about the suffering that we all share just by being human in a fallen world. The pain I experience is from a genetic disorder that cannot be fixed. I have found that merely accepting that pain doesn’t mean that I’ve done something wrong brings a peace in and of itself. But taking it step farther, I see the pain as an invitation to just be in God’s presence. Well, truthfully, that’s on my good days. In the worst of it, my mind just goes numb and I am more like a little child in her fathers arms being rocked and comforted. And my words aren’t so peacable.

I hope this is helpful to someone! I’d love to know of others who have found deeper meaning in their own suffering. Please write. I’d love to hear from you.

On the other hand, over the years Dad would have coffee or breakfast on a weekly basis at The Seven Dwarfs with many men with whom he disagreed. He didn’t give up on them. He volunteered at the hospital in transport and always sought to treat each patient with love and respect, and to go the extra mile for their benefit.

It seems that when he wasn’t lecturing “the choir” about his viewpoints, he was actually practicing peace with those with whom he disagreed. Perhaps it was his humility that empowered him to do this, or perhaps it was his way of showing compassion to those he thought had trouble being compassionate. Certainly he was practicing being Christ to them. Or maybe he just liked teasing them and joking around with the owner of Seven Dwarfs! I know for certain he engendered their love and respect. What a peaceful world this would be if we could all do the same.

A few years ago, I was driving my parents home from New York on a Sunday morning. Dad was missing being at church and singing in the choir. So we put on the radio and scanned for Christian stations that were playing music. We’d change the channel when the preaching began or when we were out of range. At one point we were delighted to hear the Hallelujah Chorus and together we sang our parts: Mom attempting to carry the soprano, Dad the bass and myself the alto. We were having a grand old time when suddenly the music stopped. We tried to get the station back on to no avail so just shut the thing off. A few minutes passed and suddenly we heard it again! It turned out to be my Dad’s cell phone. If you can’t laugh at yourself, there’s something wrong with you! Life lesson number one. Happy Birthday Dad.

“Always remember that you belong to no one, and no one belongs to you. Reflect that some day you will suddenly have to leave everything in this world-so make the acquaintanceship of God now,”

Sri Yukteswar as quoted by Paramahansa Yogananda in Autobiography of a Yogi

My Dad would have turned 86 tomorrow and he was well acquainted with God. Tomorrow I will tell you more about his Spiritual Practice of Joy.

“Wounding and healing are not opposites. They’re part of the same thing. It is our wounds that enable us to be compassionate with the wounds of others. It is our limitations that make us kind to the limitations of other people. It is our loneliness that helps us to to find other people or to even know they’re alone with an illness. I think I have served people perfectly with parts of myself I used to be ashamed of. ”

- Rachel Naomi Remen

Did you know that it is possible to be deeply and entirely at peace in the core of your being regardless of what is going on in your life? And furthermore, that perfecting one’s self is not at all what God asks of us? This was good news to me and I hope by sharing little lessons or stories as often as I am able that you will find these truths to be self-evident for you as well. My first entry will be in honor of my Dad, Richard Gathman, who died in May of last year. I miss him terribly but all my memories of him make me smile. I hope those memories will make you smile as well. It is good to be back and my Dad would say: “It’s about time!”