I received an email today from a dear friend who sincerely lives her life according to God’s will and the love of Jesus Christ. We don’t always agree on politics and lately I’d been getting pro-Palin email from many such Christians. I do not find Palin to be acting in anyway Christ-like of late and am embarassed by her speeches and interviews on behalf of Christ and behalf of women. So when I received an email asking for Christians to pray, I read it as a pro-Republican email, which it may or may not have been (I”ll paste that email at the end for anyone interested). What follows is my response to it which my friend suggested that I post here.

I certainly will do! (pray for our nation every night for one minute at 9:00 pm EST) But I must say that my Christian values cause me to be far more frightened of Sara Palin and John McCain. I think they are inciting hatred and fear with the lies they shout about Obama. Obama embodies the Christian values that I have learned from years of practice. I do not believe Sara Palin has the honesty, integrity or intelligence to be President. And John McCain is losing his mind before our eyes. His erratic and not stateman like behavior reinforces my belief that he will not make it through 4 years of Presidency. Which means Sara would be the President.But regardless of politics and who will be President, I know that God is ultimately in charge and no one comes to power over our nation without God’s intention. God is not mocked and God is not fooled by lies inciting fear. Our responsiblity is to do our duty and to be faithful with all our being in our own lives.And so I will pray for God’s will to be done and for Christians to remember that God so loved the world not just Republicans or US citizens.

To see the email I was responding to, click on “More” These are scary times we are living through. But our foremothers and fathers over the centuries and around the world have shown us how to be faithful through these times. Remember that this is not heaven and it was never meant to be. This is the place we learn to live as the image of God incarnate, in these earthly bodies. Whatever happens in our lives is a part of a much bigger story in which we each play a tiny sparkling part of God’s love and righteousness. It is more important than ever to treat one another as if they were Jesus Christ – to love as we would want to be loved, with respect and honesty. This doesn’t mean we always have to be nice we just have to be aware that God chooses to speak and live and love through these human lives of ours. What an honor to be a human being! Don’t give in to evil, not even to win an election.
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This past Sunday, I preached in the little country church where I am a member. After the worship, a young mother came up to me to tell me how much she enjoyed being in the worship service. It had been awhile since she had gone to church and her little four year old son, had never been. He’s been asking her lots of questions about God lately and she decided it was time to bring him to church. His questions were things like “Why did God make me a boy instead of an octopus? I want to have eight arms.” Good question… but I bet his mother is very glad he only has two arms and two legs. He sounds like a real pistol. She told me that he got very upset at the beginning of my sermon because I said “Jesus Christ.” His eyes got big and round and he looked at his mother in horror and said “She said a swear word!” A few minutes later, the same thing happened and he was visibly disturbed. She tried to explain to him who Jesus was but all he’d ever heard was that it was a bad word. I recommended that she get a children’s New Testament and begin to read it to him. In part, the story is hysterical! It would be very funny on a comedy show, wouldn’t it? But when it’s the truth, it makes me a little sad. “And a little child shall lead them….” I hope this little boy’s early training in the meaning of the words “Jesus Christ” has not immunized him against an authentic encounter with Jesus the Christ. Perhaps the audacity of his horror will lead his mother back to a faith she once glimpsed but didn’t quiet grasp. May it be so. Amen.

When I was being praticularly bratty as a teenager, I would often respond to my parent’s corrective actions with the exclamation “Well, I didn’t ask to be born you know!” When going through particularly trying times as an adult, I would say the same thing in jest to God in prayer. I’d add to it the fact that Jesus never experienced marriage or raising children or pastoring a church and he got to leave at age 33! I have relied a lot on my deep belief that God has a great sense of humor. I will be very disappointed if I have been mistaken on this score.
With this background, I was very amused and heartened by this prayer I read in Paramahansa Yogananda’s commentary on the Bhagavad Gita: “Heavenly Father, I did not wish to be created, nor did I wish to be placed in proximity to alluring evil temptations. Please, O God, since You created me and put me to the test of life, without consulting me, bless me that I use my power of free choice to strengthen my will and to follow the path of freedom and not the path of delusion.”
I love that prayer! I hope it encourages you as well.

I’ve been keeping the silence on this website for quite some time. My daughter’s wedding, her graduation from grad school, family and friends visiting have all taken my attention outward. At the same time, I’ve been “keeping the silence” in my daily spiritual practice. For anyone who has known me even a few years ago, you know that silence has had to be a spiritual practice for me because it does not come naturally! Name the subject, I’ve got an opinion and am sure you are just dying to hear that opinion!
Not so much these days. Life has had a way of humbling me and I’m not so sure my opinion or even my musings are necessary for anyone else to hear. In fact, I so often gather new information that I find my opinion is merely a vapor, evaporating as quickly as it arose.
Have you ever noticed what Jesus said to those he healed? “Keep silent….don’t tell anyone!” I’ve been pondering this for some time, several years in fact and here’s my “opinion” at this moment in time: When I keep silent, there is time for the experience or the insight to take root in my soul and to become a part of me. When I speak too soon, I lose the lesson and give away the power of God’s grace. I become distacted by another’s opinion of my experience and become confused and anxious, missing the joy of grace.
I think of my children at Christmas time. When I had picked out something for them that took much thought and clearly had been longed for, my joy was in the giving. And if they ripped open the gift package, just glanced at the present and rushed on to the next one, the gift seemed lessened. I wonder if God has that experience when we recieve God’s grace and are unable to just sit with it and to silently bask in God’s love.

Christ has died.
Christ has risien.
Christ will come again.
This is the ancient mantra of the church and one I sorely miss hearing on Easter Sunday. There is a dear couple in the church I attend who know to greet me on Easter Sunday with the call and response “He is Rien” and “He is risen indeed!” But other than that, I haven’t experienced an Easter Sunday that pleased me since I was a pastor. Which has made me wonder if those worship services I planned each Easter were as pleasing to others as they were to me!
For me, it was the worst Sunday to preach because the church was packed with people for whom this would be their one experience of the year to worship. How can anyone understand the mystery of the resurrection much less celebrate it without the daily, or at least weekly experience of life in Christ? For that matter, how do any of us begin to understand.
And so the ancient ritual words are what have meaning to me. Words said by those first disciples in the throes of it all, their lives turned upside down, never to be comfortable or stable again, their lives each ended in martyrdom because their experience of the holy was in their very bones.
I’ve been out of commission for a bit of time here but not out of touch with the meaning of these Easter words. My daughter was here to visit for a week. On Easter evening, we sat in the hot tub and looked up at the stars. Then we sang the old Easter hymns I love so much: “Up from the Grave He Arose,” “The Strife is O’re, the Battle Won,” “I Serve a Risen Savior” and “Were You There?” Hymns that I have sung since I could barely talk have never sounded so good to me. I’m not sure if the neighbors would agree!

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Many years ago, I was introduced to the concept of the “Abuse” or “Co-dependency” Triangle. I have come to think of it as a visual description of sin. Imagine a triangle. At the top of the triangle put the word “Oppressor.” At the left corner put the word “Victim.” At the right corner, put the word “Savior.” Keep that in mind for a few moments. Then think of a troubled relationship in your life. Which of those roles do you play? This can be a personal relationship, a relationship with your job or your church and then finally your relationship with God. Take a few moments to process this thought before you read on.

I believe this concept of God as Savior within the context of this abuse triangle has perpetuated a great mis-understanding of the purpose of life and the purpose of salvation. We miss the gospel itself when stuck in this way of seeing life. We even conceive our country in this way, either as looking to government to save us or to see our country as the world savior. This is so ingrained in our world view that it is hard to think of life any other way. According to the theory, the only way out of this disastorous way of living, is to embrace this paradox: Take total responsibility for your life AND know that you are only a small part of a much bigger picture. I believe that is the salvation of Jesus the Christ: not a rescue from external oppressors, not permission to oppress anyone who doesn’t see life as we do, not a requirement to rescue everyone in our path.
I know I’m getting a little abstract here but bear with me. The concept of the Mystery of the Trinity is basic to orthodox and historical Christianity. It seems most churches and pastors have a great deal of trouble even acknowledging this mystery. In my church, we sing the Gloria Patri and the Doxology for which I am thankful but any sermons I’ve heard on the Trinity have to do with identifying with one of the Three Persons or comparing the Trinity to 3-in1 oil or an egg. I think we’re better off just singing our praises to this which we do not understand.
For me, it has been embracing the Trinity in all It’s mystery that has countered my own sin-triangle with a holy cleansing. Living life in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit…..meditating in the knowledge that I am one with the Creator, the Redeemer and the Sanctifier…..even more ancient is the Sanskrit understanding of God as Tat, Sat and Om. I begin my mediation time with a ritual of remembrance as I stand before three candles, I cross myself in the eastern tradition and know I am in the presence of that which creates all, that which was incarnated in a woman’s womb, that which binds me to eternal life – I let this mystery that is greater than my sin embrace me and fill me and breathe through me. One resource in particular has been very helpful in this regard: Richard Rohr’s The Divine Dance . This is a set of four CD’s. Do not listen to this while you are driving! The depth of mystery to be experienced and holy presence is not compatable with driving. I went five exits past my destination the first time I listened. l close with this: This is the prayer by Richard Rohr that comes with the CD:

Ever-Recreating God, when we cling to old identities, forgive us into new being. When we hang on to old ideas and understandings, forgive us into new thought. When we clutch old practices and traditions, forgive us into new spirit. When we nurse old grudges, forgive us into forgiveness. Re-create us as your new people, who sit so lightly with our lives that we can rise with ease to follow Christ through this world to the next. Amen.

( Rev. Curtis Whitman- First Congregational Church Greene NY)

I was stunned by tenderness and depth of this prayer during worship yesterday, For me, words aren’t just words. They can be icons, means of grace, life-transforming vehicles of Divine loving power. Thank you, Pastor Curtis for being a vessel of grace.

I am at that point in life where I am learning a new role: that of Mother In Law. There are so many jokes about this role and I understand why. I find it more challenging than being a step-mother, a role that has been for me similiar to being an older friend. I do so enjoy the “wise crone” role and delight in being asked for my opinon and for advise. I’ve made so many mistakes in life that I do believe I have become quite wise about a few things. But not so wise about being a MIL. I feel like a teenager again – awkward, stumbling, afraid of offending and equally afraid of being ignored, deemed as one of the worthless ones. How is it that I’ve accomplished so much in life and reached the age of the AARP stamp of approval and somehow I am as insecure and unsure of myself as I was at age 13. I just can’t quite get it right.
I just got the news that my son and his beautiful wife are going to be parents! That means I get to be a grandma to my first born’s first born! I am flooded with memories of his birth and all of our intentions to control every aspect of his life to make it just perfect. That quickly disappeared as he was rushed into the pediatric ICU for a week of death-defying treatments. I was, at that time, still quite overwhelmed by my own mother-in-law. I did not know how to let her into my heart for fear that she would take over our lives. I felt that same 13 year old insecurity then and never did quite get past that. And so now life has come full circle and I’m the MIL who is overwhelming and overwhelmed. Who will I be to this new life growing in the womb of the one who adores my son? I hope I can break this cycle of overwhemling and just flow with it.
This recent passage from Way of the Ascetics by Tito Collander (printed by St. Vladimir Seminary Press) is speking to me:

The narrow way has no end: its quality is eternity. There every moment is a moment of beginning – the present includes the future; the day of judgement; the present includes the past: creation; for Christ is timelessly present everywhere, both in hell and in heaven. With the coming of the One, plurality disappears, even in time and space. Everything happens simultaneously, now and here and everywhere, in the depth of your heart. There you meet what you sought: the depth and height and breadth of the Cross: the Savior and salvation.
Therefore, if you wish to save your soul and win eternal life arise moment by moment from your dullness, blessing yourself with the sign of the cross and say “Let me, Lord, make a good beginning, in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.

Let it be so. Amen Aum. Shalom.

This is a quote from a man who started New Hope Ministry in a little baptist church here in the Southern Tier of NY state. “I believe God doesn’t waste a hurt” says Ray Kuhr. His program is an expansion of 12-step programs and is aimed at all addictions. I have long thought that the modern term for sin is addiction and that the remedy is the same.
I continue to slowly read the Bhagavad Gita by Paramahansa Yogananda. I spent a week pondering this segment beginning on page 256

God doesnt’ waste a hurt….I do believe that absolutely everything that happens in this mortal world is a part of God’s redemptive plan. If we could see from the perspective of eternity, we might find the sorrows of this life a noble participation in the divine cosmic plan. We bear these things for God’s sake, for the sake of that divine image for which our bodies have been made. If we bear our sorrows as God’s sorrows rather than as some personal divine “gotcha”, perhaps the hurt we so dearly feel will be for a much higher purpose. Rather than seeing our selves as worthless sinners, if we see ourselves as divine souls living this particular human experience for God’s sake, than each hurt will be redeemed.